There once was a man from Osaka
Who decided to shag his alpaca
He started quite normal
But when he tried to go oral
The beastie bit off his left knacker

  There was a young fellow from Adelaide
With a toungue that each night had him getting laid
'Twas no thanks to muff diving
That his sex life was thriving;
He'd convince them sperm tasted like lemonade

  There was a young fellow from Woolongong
His marsupial fetish was truly wrong
I don't like to asperse
But he's truly perverse;
If only he'd just use his dong